my body is deeply confused and keeps saying "what the hell time is it? no seriously, where the hell are we right now?". well ol' friend it's 1:50 pm central time here in dallas texas. which means it's 7:50 am hawaii time in oahu. which means it's 2:50 pm eastern time in new york. got it? yeah, i know, if we had actually slept on the plane instead of reading glamour and people magazine and watching reruns of judging amy, then we probably wouldn't be in this predicament which is namely that it's dumb to sleep now because then we won't sleep tonight and the whole schedule will be fucked to hell. jetlag is the biggest bitch i ever did know. if jetlag was a fat sweaty woman in a mumu i would throw sand in her face and spit in her eye.
last day in hawaii was bittersweet. queen emma's summer palace (that's RIGHT bitches i get my own damn palace), chinatown, last minute shopping which is the typical thing you do on the last day in paradise, cram everything in at the last minute. i miss it already so thanks oahu for rocking very very hard and making me tan and having orchids everywhere which of course i adored. i was made for hawaii.
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