back in the saddle

so i apologize for the melodramatics. to illustrate my seriously unbalanced chemistry, i'll share with you all that i have just had fantastic days. i went to my classes. i had rehearsals. i sang my ass off. i had good sleep. i sang some more. i wrote some music. i transcribed some tunes. i watched some great television. i played with my dog. i listened to donny hathaway. i watered my plants. i got two new pairs of shoes in the mail. i took some pictures. and mostly i sang sang sang. if i appear high strung, tell me to take a minute and hit some high notes and i'll shut the fuck up, i promise.

another weekend

new things

i love spending money. it's a problem. this week i really outdid myself...two new pairs of glasses and a new leg. i justified it by reminding myself that after my recent insurance debacles, i only had to spend $1275 on the leg instead of $11,000. saving that much money can really improve a person's mood, but in my case it inspires more spending.

that being said, it's my birthday in less than a week, so i can consider these early birthday presents...or i can think of them as necessary biological accessories. i suppose that is the more appropriate designation.

fighting in circles

i hate fighting with people i love. i hate the struggle of knowing how i feel and trying to be the kind of person who sees another point of view and think it's just as valid as mine. because in reality nobody ever thinks anyone else's point of view is as valid as their own, especially when they are in the middle of an argument. i hate not knowing where the line is between making sense and sounding like a maniacal fool. i hate going around in circles and hearing a point made two hours after the beginning of the fight that was made in the first two seconds of the fight but somehow means something completely different and no longer makes sense. i hate being afraid i'm going to cross the line and really hurt one of the people i love most in the whole world but part of me keeps pushing and pushing just to finally get to that point. i hate feeling like i'm a mean, awful, ugly ogre but at the same time feeling like i'm being horribly, terribly wronged.

i hate fighting with people i love.