it's been a while, but i think i might need your help this year. i'm not really asking for much. i mean, i know i'm not going to get the winning lottery ticket or the gas-guzzling mercedes g500 that i've been secretly salivating over for the past two years, or the puggle that i can't help but imagine poking his cute head out of my stocking. however. this year i am asking you for some serious help with some inner qualities that have been lacking within myself for quite some time: this year please bless me with some musical inspiration and a little perserverance. you see, santa, i'm one lazy motherfucker. things generally come easy to me and i just kind of let shit fall in my head or my lap and that's that. well, that's not going to be enough this coming year because i need to write some really good music and find my own style so that i can make a really good record. someone's giving me the opportunity to make a record for them and if i don't make some innovative interesting shit, i'm going to get fired. see what i'm saying? this is big. so, this year for christmas i am asking...no, BEGGING you to help me get my act together and write some mind-blowing, ass-shaking, head-bopping good music. not only that, but i'm asking you to help me take it to the next level and actually continue to work on stuff even if i think it sucks, even if i'm missing law and order, and even if there's a party going on that i just CAN'T miss. this will probably be the tallest order of all because i consider my ability to party even in the face of dire straits and extreme adversity one of my strongest assets.
if i don't accomplish this, i'm going to end up working at starbucks. not that there's anything wrong with that, but the green apron totally does not flatter my coloring.
thanks, santa. i'll leave you some jim beam and slim jims on christmas eve like a good girl.