if you're ever in honolulu, NEVER eat at a restaurant in the ghetto called the hungry lion. i shudder to think about it but i'll just tell you that it involves about 8 tv's playing animal planet and 15 year old faded murals covering every wall depicting lions eating other animals. like a cartoon lion with an apron and a shit eating grin on his face digging into a gazelle and a lion with a fork and knife and a napkin in his collar licking his chops as a pig runs away screaming. it sounds kitchy and fun but in fact it's just disturbing and seriously, who thought that curry spaghetti was a good idea????
i went to a museum. sometimes i pretend i'm smart and pay money to see old stuff and this time i got to see ancient hawaiian things like leis and bowls and a big whale skeleton that gave me the heebyjeebies.
YAY FERTILITY!!! who needs viagra when you could own a dude like this.
whale bones...this guy was like 50 feet long. here are his teeth:
i heard sperm whales have big penises but they didn't show me that part.
i got a case of the slurps.
starbucks is just so multicultural! even in hawaii they show that they are truly the people's coffee conglomerate. oh starbucks, thank you for conquering another distant land and allowing me to satisfy my iced nonfat chai cravings without a single moment of withdrawal.